Thursday, June 12, 2008

I am so mad right now!

Bekah is SCREAMING in her room right now. Why you ask? I took all her Dora books away because she ripped one of the pages. Not just ripped it out of the book (whole). Nope ripped it in half. I'm in the office taking a break from the drama. I called Gordon and we have decided that all the paper book will be collected (including all the DORA books). I will take Bekah to the Library for her to show the librarian and she will turn in all her precious Dora books. We will go back to board books for the time being. We will pay for the book. I think losing Dora books is enough of a punishment plus we don't do allowance for her at this point. I could debit her first allowance in a couple of years, but that is cruel and unusual punishment.


John said...

Matthew is four years old and we still have to supervise his library book usage. He has his own books in his room, but they're all secondhand. He does pretty well with them, but we've had too many "just when you think you can trust him" moments to let him have library books on his own yet...

G's Cottage said...

Whoa! she's only 2. While she can seem amazingly mature and responsible she has a long way to go. She is definitely too young to "pay" for tearing a book she is only partly responsible for getting torn (even if it was in her hands when the tearing took place); more responsible than a year ago but less than she will be a year from now.

Also it is sometimes hard to discern between being mad and being embarrassed. Likely you might be mad that a book got torn, especially a book belonging to someone else. But there is the other side of the coin that now you have to go and explain it to the library - yes she needs to go and do this too - and the imagination conjures up all sorts of negative information like they might not like you or your child, or they'll take your library card away, or the powers that be will take away your mothering points, or declare your child is on the verge of juvenile delinquency...etc, etc. Yes, lots of wacky thoughts and they are going to come up many, many times over the next 20 years.

Going to the library sooner is better and probably all books should go back for the rest of the "week" or till the next scheduled library day. Then maybe a talk about something along the lines of "today when we go to the library we are doing things differently because we had a problem remembering that some books need gentle treatment so we'll get one paper Dora book to read together and two board books." And over a few visits increase board books first and occasionally add another paper book for reading together but re-discussing why and the plan that's being worked; so it doesn't seem random because she will forget which will make it seem random to her even if it's not.

Call if you want or need.

Mrs_Scotsman said...

We went to the library just after I finished the post. I did the collecting of all the paper books and put them in the library bag. When we got to the library I had Bekah show the Dora book to the librarian and had her hand the other Dora books over to the librarian. The children's librarian wasn't there so they have to get back to me about paying for it. The main desk librarian said that it might be old enough that we won't have to pay.

My initial reaction of being mad changed into being sad. I love books and I think it is such a waste to ruin one. I'm not embarrassed because Bekah has grown up in this library. Most of the library staff knows Bekah and think the world of her. I'm sure the embarrassing times will come.

I think you have a good idea to let her have ONE Dora book next time.

Scribbit said...

Oh I feel for you--a friend of ours had her daughter cut up their living room curtains for no reason (as if there ever is a legitimate reason to do that). GOod luck!